My alarm goes off at 5:00 AM.  I contemplate the insanity of what I am about to do before hopping out of bed at 5:05 to brush my teeth and gargle with really obnoxious mouthwash.  Trust me at this hour, these are essential elements of the waking up ritual, as is having my running clothes, Petzl headlamp and hugely loud and extremely unfashionable high visibility vest laid out the night before.  I stumble out the door at 5:15, somehow managing to put one foot in front of the other, running 10 K by 6:05 AM.

Believe it or not, my motivation for sharing this isn’t to have you think I am amazing, although if you would like to, I won’t object.  Most likely you think I am mad, as in crazy.  I am inclined to agree, except at 5:30 something so remarkable happens, it keeps me tieing my shoes every day, even in the most inclement weather.

Truly, I don’t think its a really definable moment, but rather a gradual process.  My eyes open, my lungs and heart seem to start functioning and it begins feeling good, really good.  This leads way to noticing the stars, tall trees against the backdrop of the sky, and feeling myself breathing in big gulps of fresh morning air.  Some mornings the moon shines brightly, lighting my way and I find myself flying down the road, high on endorphins.

By the time I get home for a hot shower, I am deeply alive.  My cheeks are flush red and I am pumped, knowing I braved the elements, starting my day with a feeling of success.  Breakfast tastes better than ever before.  I drive to work like World’s Deadliest Catch  Alaskan King Crab fishing Captain Jonathon Hillstrand on the Time Bandit in a Bering Sea storm, shouting, “Is that all you got?”   When my work day goes off the rails, which happens often, I am strong because I ran 10 K in the dark, with a headlamp, in my logger style Hi-Vis vest.  (Okay, some days I am not super woman, but you get the idea.)

What I really want to convey is even after 20 years, I still have to convince myself every day this is a good idea.  If I am being completely honest, some days my body and/or spirit are weary, and I need to sleep for another hour.  That’s okay, because what keeps me coming back is remembering how heavenly I feel after the first fifteen minutes, and how amazing it is to start my day off with a feeling of immense accomplishment.

Maybe mornings really aren’t your thing.  Either way, falling in love with exercise involves focusing on the positive, how exercise makes you feel physically, mentally and spiritually.  It also means anticipating the pre-argument with yourself , knowing you have the strength to persevere.   Its so worth it!

Footnote:  The really liberating thing about running in the dark is no one, including you, will care how you look, or what you wear.  Except maybe your teenage daughter who would be mortified at the Hi Vis vest, if she were up early enough to see the entire escapade.  Fortunately in my case, she slumbers.