Clothes shopping at Winners makes me feel like a loser, or at least it did last week. I was nearly mowed down twice by an unsmiling salesperson with a movable rack of clothes. I’m not sure exactly where she was going in such a rush, but I was happy to escape with my Achilles tendon in tact. I swear the sterile change room had lighting designed to emphasize every dimple and pucker and the annoying anti-shop lifting devices were attached in places that prevented doing up the clothes. Maybe a mute point because nothing fit properly anyway. Imagine that.
Unfortunately this happens to me a lot, and I’m pretty sure I am not alone. N’est pas? Somewhere along the way we’ve been brainwashed into believing we need to fit ourselves into factory made clothing of a certain size, namely size 6, or smaller. When we don’t, we either makes ourselves lie down on the bed, exhaling every bit of available carbon dioxide in our bodies and zipping, so we can beat ourselves up over the resulting muffin top, (is it any wonder?) or we buy it anyway, despite the fact it fits in some places but not in others, telling ourselves not eating for two or three days will remedy the problem.
But it doesn’t really, does it? The item sits in the closet never to be worn, instead serving as a painful reminder of how bad we are for not starving away those annoying lumps and bumps. I say its time to stop the torture. The whole concept of size 6 arrived with the mass production of clothes during the Industrial Revolution. Prior to that, we sewed, or had sewn for us, garmets tailor made for our unique shapes. Imagine that?
Obviously, that would get pricey and might not be realistic in today’s world, but about three years ago, I discovered that a good tailor can do pretty much anything, even jeans, and its not nearly as expensive as one might think. So now, when I really like something, I buy a size larger and take it to the Duncan Tailors where they get out the pin cushion and for about $12.00 make it fit me. Sure it costs a little more, but less than spending money on clothes I’ll never wear.
Winners may not be my favourite place to shop, but I am usually able to come home with something I feel good about, knowing a few alterations will make it work for me. I can honestly say I am done with trying to fit into what’s on the rack. Thank God, because it was a losing battle.
What about you? What are your shopping experiences?
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A body in motion stays in motion. ~ Isaac Newton
One of the worst change rooms for lighting is H&M. I have never bought anything there as my skin always looks pasty and lumpy. I once tried on a blouse in H&M that I thought looked terrible. A few days later I saw the same blouse in a consignment store, tried it on and loved it! Lucky for me as it was cheaper there too!I notice that higher end stores have enough room in the changing area that you can back up and take a good look from a distance. This seems to make everything look better to me!
I am so not hip… what’s H and M?
And you are so right Llghting is EVERYTHING. When I had my studio I spent more on lighting than flooring and I swear it was worth it.
I also want to say Yahoo for consignment stores. I looove shopping second had. There is nothing more satisfying that a good second hand find. On Saturday I spent $44 and got a dress, a pair of shoes and two dresses for my niece – all in mint condition!
I don’t think H & M has made it to many places in Canada yet. It is low end trendy stuff mostly. Calgary just has two of them. You are not missing much really. There are some great consignment stores here though. Everything is sorted by item, such as pants shirts etc and then into colours! So it is easy to browse along.
So this is not about shopping but more about the realization of numbers. I never have really noticed the size of clothes I buy (i.e. 2, 3, 4), really and truly, if you asked me what size I was I would have no clue… until now. Post baby, mom and I are making vests for the upcoming DO and I had to order a pattern… uhg, since when am I a size 14. How can one little number make you feel so UHHGG! And also let me tell you small boobs rock! I have to realize that I am now a curvier version of myself and that is okay, right? RIGHT!
You are not a size 14. You are not your dress size. You are the beautiful and wonderful mother of a precious little girl, who loves you, big boobs and all (as do all the other people in your life). You are using a patten size 14. Its not who you are. It an arbitrary number assigned by some factory computer somewhere.
This is also a time in your life, and trust me a couple of years from now it will look and feel different from what it does now. I’ll be honest. I don’t have the same body I had when I was 19, but I also have an amazing remarkable daughter, who grew in my body. I remind myself I am not just a woman; I am a mother.
I think the key in accepting ourselves is remembering we are so much more than our dress size. We are a sum of so many more things, and really at the end of the day, its the other things – who we are, what we do, and how we live, that matter so much more.
The curvier version of you is just as beautiful and wonderful as the pre baby version. In fact, its even better, because with all these changes you have become more full as a human being.
XOX
Do we want to look good because we want people to like us more, to appreciate who we are, to maybe offer insight into the person we’d like to be or do we like to look good because it makes us feel good?
That’s a damn good question. I think its some of both, but where the issue lies (and you need to realize that you are probably in less than 1% of the female population who actually feel good about heir bodies) it that we inexplicably weight how we look higher than our intellgence, our ability to love and all the other pieces of our life. The problem for many women is that we weight appearance much to high when it comes to our self confidence. Its a part of it, but many of crumble to pieces when we go up a size.
I hear you and I have been there. I have stood on the scale and seen 185. That was a shock. I think if you talk to anyone they would come up with some ‘fault’ in themselves, even playboy models that are seemingly ‘perfect’ but are airbrushed to death.
I don’t like my nose or my saggy boobs but one helps me breath and the other feeds my baby so the benefits outweigh the distaste.
I wouldn’t say I always feel good about my body, but that is when the Ego takes over to state otherwise. If I can feel good from the inside out, that is what makes me happy and I realize how much eating healthy and getting exercise changes that. I admire those that take the time to run everyday and appreciate that ‘high’.
You are right, our image is not intellect. Its’ like the song- It’s what’s inside that counts.
Its the whoel package.. and the only reason many of think we have saggy boobs is because we’ve become accustomed to looking a things that aren’t really boobs, or even when we do see real ones they are so tied up and lifted, we’ve forgotten what the real thing looks like.
LOL so right. Real ones are on the cover of National Geographic, fake ones are one the cover of Maxim.
You nailed it! And you crack me up… XOX
and when you lay on your back real ones run for your armpits as fast as they can!
Isn’t that the truth!
One morning I had trouble rolling over… why? I ws laying on my own boob. Really. If men only knew, like if they got saggy….
I think they do…